How to Drive Off Your Customers
May 8th, 2008 | Michael Q. Pink
Good morning friends… One of the ways we’ve been getting practical and helping folks grow their business revenue is through the internet. I’ve been relying on David Johnson of Epiphany Marketing for our internet marketing expertise for the last year and the difference has been quite substantial. Our site use to get a few hundred unique visits per week. Now we are in the five figure range each week, and we’re ramping up for quite a bit more in the near future. I’ve asked David to share a few posts with you to give you some practical help. Hope you enjoy!
How to Drive Off Your Customers
Too busy at work? More than enough revenue? Here are some ways you can keep those pesky customers and prospects away…
#1: Make Sure Your Marketing is All About You
After all… people who want to spend money with you want to understand how your products & services benefit them, so if you focus on you, your company’s history, your features, etc., you’ll be sure to keep people from bugging you. Whatever you do, don’t use pictures of the people most likely to actually buy from you, and avoid connecting their needs and wants to aspects of your business most likely to appeal to them. Instead, just subtly communicate the notion that you’re in business for your own benefit and that you really aren’t interested in customers. They’ll smell this a mile away and bug someone else instead.#2: Ignore the Web
If your website hasn’t changed since the Clinton Administration, you’re on the right track here. Even better: no web presence at all! If you must have a website, make sure it doesn’t show up in any search engines… and whatever you do: don’t add fresh new content on a regular basis! You should convey to visitors that you might already be out of business just by the aged look of your site. To support this notion, hire a neighbor’s kid to build it — especially if he/she has no design experience whatsoever. Websites that have that “we don’t care” feel do wonders at keeping people away. If you’re still having response from your site, just bury the information that your customers want to find and add some contact forms to your site that do nothing and go nowhere. If you can get them to generate an error message, it’s even more fun!#3: Keep Your Marketing Efforts Unfocused
If people have a clear idea of who you are and what you’re all about, they’re much more likely to pester you. So, make sure that there’s no unifying theme to your marketing. Buy ads at random, and always let whoever who sold you the ad design it for you. This way, all of your ads will come out looking different from each other. Make sure that your marketing doesn’t target any one type of customer, and stick with the “shotgun” approach. Otherwise, your marketing might actually connect with someone, and then they’ll show up or call, expecting service from you.I hope these tips are helpful for you. We’ll continue this on another blog entry soon. And… Michael and I will be holding another marketing teleseminar next week! If you’re already busy enough and don’t want any new customers, don’t join us! It could be dangerous!!
Michael here… watch your inbox on Monday morning for dates/times for next week’s event!
May 8th, 2008 at 8:23 am
This was fantastic. I do not read all the emails from this, but I certainly HAD to read this one by the title. It was too close to home.
Thanks
May 8th, 2008 at 8:30 am
David… Another homerun! Now if we only knew what to do to avoid those mistakes and how!?!
May 8th, 2008 at 9:36 am
David & Michael,
Great post. Here’s a little spin-off on this I experienced at a company that acquired a company I worked for. Wall Street was saying as a whole that they needed a better marketing approach. So, they acquired a very aggressive market-focused company (which Michael, happened to be a Canadian-based company). However, they did not change anything within their own culture or approach. I used to support a Japanese manufacturer in the states, and one of the products this new company rolled out was a web-based system that allowed the Japanese company to track important information. Company exec’s touted this thing to the hilt to our Japanese customer, that it worked great, was real-time info, etc. Then, a few weeks later, one person told me that the system didn’t work, never had worked, and could not be counted on to provide accurate info. If you’ve ever dealt with a Japanese company, honor and truthfulness are extremely important. Needless to say, they lost respect for us quickly.
Anyway, one of their key approaches (tongue in cheek), was, “Mr. Customer, I know you’re telling us what you want, and I know we’ve never run a business like yours before, but here’s what you want, because we’re experts at what we do. Despite the evidence you provided that supports your idea of what you want, it’s just wrong because we know, and because this is the way we’ve always done it. So the sooner you get on board with this, the easier our life will be, the more money we’ll make and then we’ll be ready to stick it to you again the next time you need something.”
Sad but true!
Blessings,
Dennis
BTW, this company is now teetering on the edge of extinction due to the financial market crisis. Jack Welch once said, “change or die.” The long version of what he said was, “when the rate of change outside an organization exceeds the rate of change inside the organization, the failure of that organization is imminent.”
May 8th, 2008 at 9:48 am
@Shellie B & @Quentin - Thanks for the support. Glad you enjoyed this post! If it’s close to home and you want to avoid these types of mistakes, stay tuned! More to come…
@Dennis - Your comment just goes to show that marketing (and overall business) blunders are common in companies of all sizes. I guess the small business owners can take comfort in the fact that these things regularly happen on much larger scale — and at much greater cost! The good news is that there is hope!
We can all learn and improve and change and adapt. Thanks for the response.
May 8th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Hi David,
I enjoyed your reverse engineering marketing style
Just to let all those who do read this post know. I am currently taking part in an online training course presented by David about e-marketing and it is worth GOLD!! If such an opportunity comes your way, don’t let it pass you by!
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Really good stuff. Am very much impressed with this blog. It is infused with Godly wisdom and instruction in everything. Keep up the great work.